Here's one for Space Channel 5.

I played this game and it was horoble. The only good thing about it was the graphics. Yeah it was good to control and stuff but what a dumb kinda game. Dancing in a game why cant the people just get up and dance themselves. Personally I hated the soundtrack so my recomendation is to stear clear of this game and go get something worthwhile.

Obviously, quite the master speller.

Xenogears--

Xenogears is supposedly one of Squaresofts many "pieces des resistances", and yet, if you play it all the way to disc 2, you find out that IT'S NOT EVEN COMPLETE! It took me 48+ hours to play through the first disc; now, if it had continued like a proper game, it would have been fine. The separation of the discs can be summarized as such:
Disc 1: 95% gameplay, 5% story
Disc 2: 5% gameplay, 95% story.
Basically, once you finish disc 1, the next thing to do is the story. Now, how do we do that in the CHEAPEST way possible? Oh, yeah!
HAVE FEI AND ELLY SIT ON A CHAIR AGAINST A BLACK BACKGROUND WITH A NECKLACE SWINGING LIKE A PENDULUM, WITH LITTLE CINEMATICS INTERSPERSED!
Disc 2 is a PLAY, but one with the LOWEST budget possible, and it is EXCRUCIATING. Make any excuse you want to in defense of Squaresoft, but to release a game that is incomplete is unforgivable. If it had continued in the style of disc 1, then Xenogears could have been an epic adventure; instead, I'm left to wonder what could have been. And if they had truly run out of time and money, then they should have scrapped the game altogether, or waited for more money. I DON'T CARE WHICH.

Listen to the skewed hyperbole all you like; repeat it if you want to as well. It won't change the fact that Xenogears is one of the worst games EVER.

Okay, I have no idea what the Hell this person means by 'the game is incomplete.' No explanation is given, just a tangent about the discs and how much the second disc sucks. I mean, look how obsessed this person is with how the second disc begins. I mean, he really found it to be 'excrutiating' when Fei and Elli are having the narrative he mentions? Does he realize that a lot of RPGs, especially JRPGs, emphasize story? It's really not constructive at all, and it has nothing to do with even attempting to explain how 'the game is incomplete'. Also, the second disc 'has the lowest budget possible'?? So, uh....this person thinks different amounts of money were spent per disc, seriously? Maybe that wasn't meant to be taken literally, but well, considering the rest of this review...

And then look how this guy goes back in the middle or so and claims " to release a game that is incomplete is unforgivable", and still refuses to explain why and how Xenogears is 'incomplete'. Sigh...

I do love Xenogears, but I do admit it has issues and quirks that will turn a lot of people off. This person, however, does a terrible job of explaining why he hates this game so much, other than the second disc is evidently the bane of his existence, and does a terrible of job of explaining why, even at that. The 'the game is incomplete' comment, is just completely baffling to me, but again, with no explanation, there's no logic to be driven here anyway. Yeesh.

Deus Ex:

My take on the game as equaling or even bettering Half-Life and Opposing Force is this: Get real!

First of all, the game takes forever to load up each time you want to play it, and the same goes for saving anything -- which tells me that the programming team picked to write this game were definitely not the brightest bulbs in the box. I suppose it is hard to try and effect a good old cold war style brain drain from other more successful companies, like Sierra for instance. And Eidos simply did not get the bunch that were really on top of the gaming curve. Every gaming company wants to hire the best, if only to build an efficient footprint that will quickly get the game off the ground after launching it. But this game has to be at least worse for such transitions than even the more primitive games that came out six or eight years ago. And because DE requires at least a 333MHz system to drive it -- more like push it off a cliff -- makes it even more of a lame dog when it takes forever to transition itself into the next level of the game, in addition to the sluggish save and load times. This all forces one to then rate the level of sophistication of the software as being amateurish.

The control selection is also quite limited and cumbersome. Whereas in half life your right click mouse button and mouse wheel have a much more powerful range of control over objects, you don't get that here. Half-Life and Opposing Force also expertly solved the picking up of objects problem by simply running your character over the objects. Why can't we have that here? There is only one good thing I liked in this game, the ability of dropping objects. That's it.

The next irritating thing is that your character doesn't start off as a swift, efficient fighting machine. Instead you get a character that totters around at a fast crawl, like an old man, and is suffering from the DTs and various other attention deficit disorders when it comes to actually aiming a gun. To get the character tracking well, what you have to do is this: you are forced to acquire these proficiency modules and augmentation modules to make your weapons and feeble cyborg work well enough to fight a kindergartener. This lends the game an extra savory taste of tediousness from the word go.

There is simply also not the variety of interesting bad guys to shoot at. At least in Half-Life you get to shoot aliens and all sorts of cool critters that are sort of cute, funny and scary at the same time. Here it's just one dreary anonymous person after another. *yawnnnnn*

The ideological recurrent message is also illogical and lame. Here the character is given lots of killing weapons but then told by various liberal characters in the game to be a Pollyanna and only knock the enemy out, and not to kill them. Ridiculous! What a waste of time. We all realize just how contradictory management and policy is in a real government organization, but is it really an exciting environment to play in for a shoot-em-up game? Not really. And most free thinking individuals will not put up with working in a organization that contradicts itself and does not back up its players either. And it is hardly credible to think most gaming players playing this game consider themselves as anything other than free thinkers.

No, sadly DE simply does not track well in simulated or real time. It needs to go back to the debugging floor. I was hugely dissapointed in its performance, and really would like a full refund for this game.

I see why he didn't like it, someone told him it was better than Half-Life (Which I think it is). The butthurt carried through to the review. He whines that you don't start off as a curbstomping machine and that it's a waste of time weighing the morality in using nonlethal weaponry just cause he has been given a gun; he also calls the pro-restraint characters "Liberal" because they don't advocate killing when you don't have to. He sounds like a right winger nut that somehow got his hands on the game.

How dare the game send him mixed messages by giving him a gun to use if needed and nonlethal weaponry? Can only compute 1 thing at a time, KILL OR NOT KILL. Oh and he blabs about some pseudo-intellectual diatribe with terms such as "free-thinkers" and the such.

....yeah, that guy was really over-thinking the game, I think, and while he tried to sound very intelligent, I don't overall think he was that engaging, like you said. And hey, if you want a game where you mostly run around killing things, play an id Software game, or something. Not all first-person games are exactly like that. Sheesh.

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons

I'm good at puzzle games and I like them. But this is too hard. Getting 1 sword will be hard for beginners or any gamers. You must have to have the Stragety Guide memorized in your brain to beat this. You should not ever get a Zelda game(unless you're up for the challenge). Don't get this.

Mario is Missing

This has got to be one of the most boring Mario game I ever played as a child. First of all, there's no action, no challenges and the bad guys can't kill you. All you're doing is just playing as Luigi, pointlessly running all around the world searching for pointless clues of history to find Mario. That's absolutely no fun at all. You're better off going back to school studying world history than to play this game, no less.

If you want an epic Mario game for your SNES look no further than Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars instead, But yeah, avoid this sorry excuse for entertainment.

Overall 0/5 stars from me!

I don't see what the guy's problem is. Mario is Missing is a great game. No, it isn't your typical Mario game, but it's still fun in its own way.

Dreamcast- SHENMUE

Forklifting is My Top Priority, August 4, 2003

I am a black man who stars in this game. I am sensitive and I speak fluent Japanese. I manage the forklift operation day to day on Disc 3 (only). At a certain point, Ryo (of Shenmue) shows up for a job at my plant. He is a good driver of forklifts, but his skills do not surpass enough to qualify for number one forklifter. I have a hunch he will help me with my own brother's disappearance and the Long Jah (aka the secret trade of Mad Angels back by Pier 17). I am going to fire him this week.

Also, don't bother looking up Earthbound... it has no 1 star reviews.

Castlevania: SotN

It doesn't make any sense. How can this game be considered a classic? It has WAY too many flaws for people to continue naming it "best game of all-time" or "best Castlevania game you'll ever play".

I don't think so. If you want a "real" Castlevania game, go play Castlevania 64 for the N64. That's how a Castlevania game should be done. Not like Symphony Of The Night, which is basically a complete disaster with its many inexplicable problems.

Don't believe me? You will soon enough. First and foremost, Konami must think all Castlevania fans are forgetful and dumb. You see, the game begins with you playing as Richter, and you're back in the final stage of the previous Castlevania game fighting Dracula. This is ridiculous. I don't want to play THAT game, I want to play Symphony Of The Night. You don't have to redo the final fight with Wart in the beginning of Super Mario Bros. 3. So you shouldn't have to start off Symphony Of The Night by going back and fighting the final boss in the previous game. What the hell is wrong with Konami? This whole Richter/Dracula thing should have been removed.

After that's over, the REAL game begins, but unfortunately that's not true. It doesn't begin yet. Immediately a screen is shown of Alucard running to the castle (which you unfortunately have no control over). Once he's inside and the gate closes, you can now play as him, but wait a minute. There's no music playing in the background. A game can't really start if there's no music, because the absence of music makes a game feel empty and unexciting.

Luckily, my worst fear didn't come true (that Konami forgot to put music in the game) and you just have to move forward a few steps and battle a few more foes before the music kicks in. It's about time! You had me worried there!

But then more problems arise. In the same little area where the music kicks in, you encounter these zombies that come out of the ground and walk towards you, and many times you never see these zombies coming until it's too late and you take a hit. Pesky little things like this are just one of many reasons this game is almost completely unbearable.

Eventually you meet up with a young lady named Maria. She's extremely attractive, and knows just how to push the right flirting buttons. And that's a big problem. The way she seems to come on to Alucard and practically drool all over him is such a turn-on to the player that it's very difficult to move forward and continue on with the quest. After a Maria encounter, you can't stop thinking about her beautiful pale face, those big beautiful eyes, that smooth relaxing voice, and so then what happens after that is, when you are in the middle of a serious battle, you almost always die because you can't stop thinking about Maria's beautiful face.

Konami must not understand that mostly boys play video games. I shouldn't have to say it, but I think it's obvious that the creators of Maria are disappointed in themselves for creating such a good-looking woman, because one look at Maria distracts boys everywhere. They shouldn't have made her look so pretty. Because of this, only the strongest male gamers will be able to complete this Castlevania adventure. Had she been less attractive, guys would be able to better concentrate on the game.

You're probably thinking by now "Alright, talk about the actual GAME!" Okay, I will, but you won't like what I have to say. It's just really painful for me to pick out all the problems in this supposed classic. Basically, it all boils down to one thing. The fact that some weapons in this game are incredibly slow, weak and almost useless. Yes, I'm talking about the Jewel Sword and the Sword Of Hador. Konami never should have put these two weapons in the game. But because they did, we have no choice but to put up with them, and I have no choice but to complain. These two weapons really drag the game down.

I could go on and on about the many problems you will see in this game. Twice in the game you will have to fight a guy who looks exactly like you, which if you ask me, lacks creativity. Konami wasted a good opportunity right there to come up with new and exciting bosses to fight, but no, they had to go with the old predictable mirror match.

Many enemies have blood fiercely squirting out of their bodies when you attack them, forcing me and my children to look away from the TV screen. Because me and my children understand that if we look at the screen and see this violence, we will throw up all over ourselves and even worse, we might even have trouble making it through the day without screaming in fear that the same brutal treatment might happen to us if we're not careful. A little bit of blood is fine, but some of the blood in Symphony Of The Night is a bit too graphic and plentiful. It's enough to terrorize you. So the best thing to do would be to try and jump over these bloody enemies so you won't have to attack them, though in many places, avoiding enemies won't be easy.

Finally, the biggest problem. The second castle in the game is just the first castle turned upside down, so it's not really a new castle. Now that's what I call clumsy. Between the smutty actions of Maria and the blood all over the place, it feels like I'm watching a porno blood fest. Not a pretty thought, is it? So as you can see, many problems prevent this game from being a classic. Don't even think about buying it.

....my reaction to that Shenmue review is naturally...WTF. And for that SotN review...that clown really favors the N64 game? Well, that's something I've never heard anyone say before. He did write a...pretty lengthy review there, and it seems generally competent in terms grammar, spelling, and overall structure. But, uh, when he goes...on and on about how he...just couldn't stop thinking about Maria...Wow. I don't know about you, but that sure wasn't on my mind when I played through the game....And he just doesn't stop. "one look at Maria distracts boys everywhere"?? Uh...you do realize Maria isn't real, and you're essentially talking about a drawing, and a 2D sprite, right? Boy...

Perhaps it's my fault. I played the original Legend of Zelda for NES and I loved it. The gameplay was fantastic and it kept me busy for many weekends. So when Link to the Past hit the shelves, I hit the ground running to the nearest game store to pick up a copy. I can't tell you how disappointed I was after four hours of playing -- but I'll try to tell you anyway. 

The introduction to this game is beautiful -- cutscenes and wonderfully rendered 16-bit graphics laying out the lore of Hyrule and preparing you to start your journey as Link. This is as good as it gets, people. 

The game begins with you (Link) in your uncle's house. As link awakens, he sees his uncle, dressed for battle. The uncle instructs Link to wait for him to return as he leaves the house. 

Minutes pass. More minutes pass. Link's uncle said we couldn't leave the house, but he didn't say anything about the bed, right?! I hop down from the bed and walk around the modest home my virtual uncle has made for himself. It's pretty boring. 

An hour passes. I try to play with some of the assorted jars on his shelf, but to no avail. Oh ho, but there are some pots I can pick up next to the bed -- they're quite breakable, though, I learned. Link's uncle would be most displeased to find his pots in a crumbled mess on the floor -- if he ever CAME BACK. 

After three and a half hours of waiting, I shut off the Super Nintendo, and sold my copy of the game. Nintendo, I don't know what you were thinking, but making an adventure game that imposes rules on the player and confine them to a home is NOT my idea of adventuring! "I'll be back in the morning." Were you trying to teach children about coping with patriarch-figure abandonment? This uncle left Link to rot! 

I would not play this game again.

.....that ALttP review has to be a joke. I mean, seriously. That doesn't mean it's not funny though!

Thats what most of the comments said on Amazon

That's almost as funny as the Three Wolf Moon shirt review.

No 1-star review for Lunar: Silver Star Story :)

No 1-star reviews for Jet Grind Radio

No 1-star reviews for NiGHTS

or Skies of Arcadia

still looking. :)

The Hobbit

I'm going to make this very short.It's BAD!The graiphics are great but come on!Don't be fooled by the flashy look.I'm disapointed.This game would make Tolken laugh.

The SotN review has to be an obvious troll or a very special person for some of the complaints levied against the game.

That Zelda review is hilarious. :)

Final Fantasy XIII

Most disappointing game ever.

I absolutely love the Final Fantasy series. I tend to buy the games right when they com out to get into a great story with amazing characters, and lose myself in the game for a while.
With FF XIII, I cannot.

I've already invested about 30-40 hours into the game but I just can't keep playing... it pains me when I do. When I have some time I'll sit down to play a little bit (because eventually I would like to finish it) however, after playing it for an hour or so or getting to another part of the game, I think to myself 'why am I still playing this garbage?' It truly feels like it's taking forever when I play it.

The characters are terrible, you don't like any of them because they are annoying... the script, the acting, the 'hero' as he calls himself. The game's storyline is so complex and ridiculous that no minor would understand it, yet the acting of the characters and the way they changed the espers (yes, I'm sticking with espers) it is intended for a child to enjoy.

Don't get me wrong, the graphics are amazing, but not even that would make me give the game more than 1 star. I see a lot of great looking games nowadays, not as nice as this one, but the rest of the game is absolute garbage.

No side missions, no exploring, no care for the characters... To the one review who said this was 'their first FF ever and loved it', you're missing out big time. If the next FF title that comes out is like this one, I will abandon the FF series forever (well, not really, they have to get it wrong once in a while I guess... ) I can't return it, but I'm going to sell it while the value is still higher. My first FF ever that I will never complete and want to get rid of for good.

@Mr. K: I said games you like.

METAL GEAR SOLID- PLAYSTATION

If you took a piece of a hamster's tail and stuck it into your PlayStation it would most likely have better graphics, and more involving story-line, and a better, more fun fighting system than MGS. It stink0r5

>stinkor5

What does that even mean?

I think he was trying to say it stinks. :P Or perhaps referring to the He-Man character.

What is up with this game? It makes NO SENSE! Man and Dinosaur living in the same time frame? That isn't scientifically accurate. Secondly, capes do NOT make you fly. Jet propulsion makes you fly. Also, where is Mario's luggage? If he is on a journey to save this princess, then he should pack accordingly. One point in particular that bothered me is that all of the Yoshi's are different colors, yet they all seem to be fine with one another. That isn't how the real world works! The seeds of racism have been sewn deep into the world, but have somehow fluttered past the Yoshi species??? Preposterous. The giant, slow moving bullets make no sense at all. There is no way an object of that mass could maintain an airborne status without a VASTLY increased velocity.

Can I review like the Irate Gamer?

Final Fantasy VI. Wait, 6? I thought this was 3, Squaresoft is retarded as fuck! Why they named it 6!!!! Are they trying to confuse the hell out of me? Esper system, more like Jester system, because this system makes me LAUGH! I hate this piece of shit!

Sonic the Hedgehog

Horrible 2d crud graphics,Annoying simple gameplay, slow gameplay, boring repetitive bosses, and last but not least annoying tunes that make you want to barf.

MWM, you said before you hated Sonic 2.

And interestingly enough, that review came from Raleigh. Home of the Clan.

The World Ends with You (DS)

I finally bought this game about a week ago after reading amazing reviews on it, and I must say I felt very mislead. I was expecting at least a little bit more of a traditional RPG with more realistic game play. TWEWY was far from what I expected. From the first time I booted it up, I thought "oh no.. this looks cheesy - I'm going to hate this game", but I gave it a chance anyway. After way too much ridiculous dialogue involving two characters that you can't help but hate, the game finally begins (sort of..). I finally got into the combat part of the game, which I absolutely hate. It feels like a mix of Dance Dance Revolution and Final Fantasy 2. You are expected to control two characters at once: one at the top of your screen, and the other at the bottom. On the bottom you run around in an extremely limited space using different attacks while trying to avoid the enemy. While doing this, you are expected to follow a pattern of buttons to push to control the character on the top screen, which I have found impossible, as I am not a chamelean and my eyes do not look in different directions at once. If you ignore the bottom screen for more than a second, you get bombarded by enemies. After trying to figure it out, I found it too difficult to resist the urge to destroy my DS by slamming it against the coffee table, so I just left the top screen on autoplay (which apparently the autoplay does a terrible job and makes it impossible to achieve higher than a C on any battle, which hinders game play.)


So now I officially hate: the gameplay, the characters, and the combat. I decide "Hell, 98% of people on Amazon loved the game, so lets keep going and try and see what they see." I played a few more hours, gathered a few more "pins", and all I discovered is that 98% of people on Amazon are morons. I must say though, I hate the characters a little bit less. But I definitely hate the game much more. Boss battles have become extremely difficult because I have no choice but let the computer control my 2nd character - but wait! I have the ability to switch the game to "easy". I read reviewers say they like this aspect, but to me it's a cop out. Square Enix failed to make a consistent game and decided it would be easier to have us switch difficulties throughout the game than to fix it. In this reviewers opinion, Square Enix failed to make a tolerable game. I am surprised to see that anyone enjoyed it, and baffled as to how so many people loved it. Hands down one of the worst games I have ever played, and this is coming from a huge Square Enix fan.

ADD:

I'm so sorry that this many people got insulted when I said 98% of you were morons. I forgot the internet is where you take everything you read so seriously that you want to throw e-punches at the guy writing it.

This Sonic 2 is the one I was talking about, I figured people would think the Genesis ones. Of all the LCD systems I have I can't play this one.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie

Again Power Rangers are not cool and not good, they don't deserve even one star. Thier show was one of the many reasons Sonic the Hedgehog got canceled. Maybe the only reason.

Star Fox without Rumble Pak

I decided to rent this game after learning about the not-so-cute-anymore Fox McCloud (Star Fox) from Super Smash Brothers. Starfox 64 turned out to be the worst game I've ever played in my life! There is basically no plot to the game, it's like Star Wars with animals. The small amount of storyline makes no sense what so ever (Lylat System, G-Diffusers, mechanical flying apes, silver rings in the asteroid belt; I DON'T GET IT)!!! Even the technical aspects of the game stunk. The graphics were TERRIBLE (I've never played on a SNES before, but from what I've heard, this game looks like it should have been for SNES). The gameplay its self is extremely hard! I could never get past the third level! Sometimes I almost ended up bending the game in frustration. And some of the aspects of this game (especially the villans) were disturbing and downright terrifying. After playing this game for only two days (I couldn't bring myself to tolerate it any longer) I had nightmares for a week! If you're even considering buying or renting this game, DON'T!!! But if you must know what this game is like, watch a Star Wars movie. If you don't like the movie, you definitely won't like this game.

http://www.amazon.com/Star-Fox-without-Rumble-nintendo-64/dp/B00000ID61/ref=cm_cr-mr-title

From the same person that did the Sonic the Hedgrehog 1 star review.

Mario Kart 64

This is a mario rip off of REAL racing games.Also the stupid cartoonish karts go 14 mph.

So, if Star Fox 'is like Star Wars', and I 'should watch Star Wars' to understand what this game was like...then that means the game was awesome, right? So...why does he think it sucks, again? >D

GoldenEye 007

I should have checked this game out more thoroughly than I did! I ordered this game to go along with the N64 system I purchased for my 13 year old as a Christmas gift. Right now he's upset because I haven't let him play it again since then. I have three younger children, 11, 4, and 1. My 4 year old has been mimicking the gun play found in this game and even though I don't allow toy guns in my home, he uses his very active preschool imagination to turn his toys into weapons of mass destruction! My 13 year old literally sat in front of the screen for 4 hours straight on Christmas Day unable to hear or interact on any level with the rest of the family. He even lied about doing his assignments in order to have more play time. When I finally sat with him while he played, I was horrified at the level of violence. I don't think 13 is old enough to play this game--try 16 (maybe).

lmao. Over-reaction much?

Here's GTA San Andreas on the PS2

First of all You sound like a 5 year ole my mommy said all the other music exept country is evil, lol. That sounds like music racisim to me. ALL MUSIC IS NOT EVIL!!!!!! What abot smooth jazz that has no words, how is that evil, smooth rnb and a little bit of hip hop not all the songs have cussing in it, not me myself i don't like cussing and i don't like the grand theft auto game but i play it for fun though, like just driving around eating and working out. So don't listin to your mother she's teaching you wrong by saying country is the only good music, your going to grow up listining to country for your whole life and pokemon has a little bit of violence in it like fighting and also you don't know what the pokemon are saying, they have no translation, i like the show pokemon advanced but i'm a big fan of sonic and beyblade. Also here is one review to that guy mark, that wouldn't be far to have this game banned from the whole us, what about the teenagers and adults that want to play it, if its banned the people who don't have it won't be able to buy it and play it, so just let them play it where it will spoil thier minds. Also for all you people who think i'm an idiot i'm not, i'm a succesfull 13 year old who will grow up to be a professer and get my dream car the acura TL. This game is insulting to peoples minds (well some people) because i know about 4 people that were on the news and the dumb rockstar game gta made them do some things bad like shoot someone, steal, and do drivebys, also the rockstar people are just being stupid racist because all african americans do not act that way. I have a 2 friends and a cousin thats african american and of cource i'm caucasian and not a racist. So please don't get this game. This game has violence, bad language, sex, blood, gore and use of drugs. I recommend this game for people over 18. This game is stupid to the extreme.

....So, that guy gave GoldenEye a bad review because his son in pre-school saw it, and started imitating guns, which he doesn't like? And his other son played it way too much and lied about it? It doesn't sound like it's the game that's defective here.

As for the GTA  review....what's that kid talking about? Who is he talking to? I like the part where he adds "i'm a succesfull 13 year old". Oh really? Wow, what's that kid got going on in his life? He have a nice job with benefits and making good money? He sure isn't 'succesfull' at spelling, grammar and coherent thoughts.

Silliness!

The thing that caught my attention with the GoldenEye review was 'even though I don't allow toy guns in my home'. So why buy the game when the box art has James Bond holding a gun.

FF12

As is always the case (I must admit to being a bit of a FF fanboy), I said "wow" after playing this most recent installment of Final Fantasy. In almost all other cases wow was all I could muster after playing a spectacular game. Now, I'm stunned by how unimpressive Final Fantasy XII turned out. It has left me utterly disappointed and questioning my faith in the future of this series.

My disappointment stems from the "carry-overs". There are many themes that appear in most of the games in the series. These carry-over themes have included airships, powerful creatures the party can summon, specific character jobs, chocobos, certain weapons and typically a character named Cid. The two themes that have the greatest impact on how the game plays are the jobs (e.g. Warrior, Red Mage, Summoner, Dragoon, etc.) and the summoned monsters.

Jobs in this installment are non-existent. Each character is virtually as adept at being a mage as they are at being a fighter. This sounds deceptively inviting, leaving it up to the player to determine how you will develop your characters. Unfortunately, not far into the game, all your characters will have all the same skills since they're aren't that many. The only thing that differentiates character from character is the gear they have equipped. Take off their heavy armor, shield and sword, and strap on a staff, robe and pointy hat. You have just converted your best fighter into your best mage. This neuter approach to character development caused me to care less about "buying" skills.

Summoned monsters were, equally, poorly implemented. Summons have been handled quite differently over the years. In Final Fantasy XII, the summons have been relegated to near uselessness. They have hit points and attacks that are surprisingly low. Summoning during a boss battle was an exercise in futility. The summon was typically dead before it could cause any major damage. Alas, the worst of it all is the introduction of an almost entirely new cast of summons. The old stand-bys, Leviathan, Shiva, Ifrit, Bahamut, and Ramuh, have been replaced by a freakishly overstylized group.

It is with a heavy heart that I pass judgement on Final Fantasy XII. This game forced me to turn in my Final Fantasy Fanboy Badge. I can only hope that FFXIII will redeem the franchise..... I'm not hopeful.

I actually kind of agree with him (though 1 star is too harsh for sure) and he was right to be skeptical of FF13. It's not too great.

I love FF12.

That Final Fantasy XII review doesn't sound like it should be a one star.

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time

Lets be honest here. All you do in this game is jump, grab poles, swing from them and step on switches oh and climb poles. thas it. Yea they are puzzles but you can just use a stragedy guide to get past them from gamefaqs if they are too hard. All of the puzzles are pretty tedius if u ask me. The story sucks, there is very little dialogue. There is really no music at all and the sound level is the most annoying part of the game. You cant hear anything the prince of the girl says but the action sequences sound is so loud your ear drum will pop. The graphics are not that good realy. Your always in some big dark room that has lots of poles in it. thas about it for the graphics. The fighting really is boring beacuse its sooo sloww. i mean it goes into slow motion at when u give the final death blow to the enemy. so it takes soo long and dragged out that you wil jus turn off the tv and keep hitting the A button and turn it on hoping their all dead. ok but there is ONE good thing about the game and thats maybee its replayability. once you beat the game and you know how to beat the enemies and you know the puzzles and where to jump and stuff then its fun to play it again just for the fun of jumping and swinging on the poles and platforms because its very high up in the air so its like a roller coaster ride. so go ahead and buy the game just for the fun of swinging 400 ft in the air.

This is probably from a troll, but I figured I'd post it anyway since it took awhile to find a 1 star for this game.

Chrono Trigger is the worst game I have ever played. The game is bad. It is not worth buying...The game has horrible graphics, sound, gameplay, and has an extreamly stupid and predictable plot...

Here are some for most of my favourite games, with my comments in italics:

DARK CLOUD

This game [stinks].Its too repetuious and there are no voices.The wepons always breaking really [suck].This is a [rehash] of Zelda.I lost money for this [bad] game so dont buy it.

OK, no voices. At the start of the PS2. When Voice acting was still at the level of "Jill Sandwich". Also, you're meant to leave a gap after the full stops. And you spelt repetitive wrong.

JET FORCE GEMINI (Both the 1 star reviews, because they're both great)

Readers, do not be fooled by the many four star ratings you have just seen. Banjo Kazooie is possibly the worst game ever invented. Ever. First, the story plot is a stupid bore. Why would someone want to play a game about a bear who's sister is stolen by a witch, and he fights phony enemies to save her. Two. The Graphics Stink! Even for a N64 Game. I've seen SuperNES, even RegularNES games with better graphics than this! Three! It's extreemly childesh!...Heres a warning: DO NOT BUY THIS GAME! IT STINKS!

heres one from Mario adv. 2 Super mario world

This game is seriously bad. Yes, Sure there is many levels, But whats that use with a bad game? The graphics are Game Boy Orignal style! (I have EVERY single gameboy! GameBoy Vet) A player from Super Mario somthing 6 golden coins (an old one) The graphics are the same, The levels are the same.

People say Mario started the 'jump up onto enemies' phrase on lots of game (crash bandicoot,ect)

If you have never played Mario before, Dont get this game! You'll be sorry for wasting money. This game is an insult to GameBoy Advance games.

Pros:
-Lots of levels.

Cons:
-Horrid Game Boy Orignal graphics just in colour.
-Horrid Nintendo Mario fans saying this game is good.
-Horrid music.
-Gets very repetitive and boring.

I love how in just about every review, the go-to argument is about graphics. If you hate the game but have nothing to legitimately criticize it for, just say that the grahpics are worse than a few generations back.

The thing with people complain about graphics are that some reviewers didn't grow up in that era and are comparing it to the era they grew up in.

Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour (I could of just told you to click the link since I am posting every one.)

Mario Golf could very well be the WORST game of all time! It's slow, it's repetitive, it's boring. I played this game for 7 minutes and it seemed like i keep play the same holes over and over again. The controls weren't very good, not much to this game. The graphics are what you'd expect from Gamecube, but thats about all the good things i can say about this game. If you must play, RENT it, if it's over 2 dollars to rent skip it, or i'll sell you mine dirt cheap!!
I HATED THIS GAME!

This is the most boring game I have ever played for game cube. The techniques are extremely difficult, for example, if you don't hit a certain button at the right time, its an automatic screw up. The game looks nice though, I'll give it that. The game just feels slow and repetitive. I'm so glad that I rented it and didn't buy it. But this is just my opinion. If you like golf, this might be a great game for you. I think I just disliked this game because I think golf is just boring.

mario golf is an awful game.Only 4 secret characters boo,shadow mario,pirrahea piranha,and baby bowser.The game was so limited there was barely anything to do besides for golfing. Stars characters seems pretty damn stupid.The game was very boring and not one bit fun.

I have rented this game for my son several times and he loves it so I thought I would purchase it for him for Christmas. Unfortunately, it is scratched so badly that it will not play. We are very disapointed.

I am the biggest fan of Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour. It is got the best graphics, and it has excellent gameplay. If you like golf and mario, this is the game to put on your "for sure to get list"

I just want to mention first that most of the negative reviews for this game I see are comparing it to Ace Combat and I have tried Ace Combat and don't like it. Also Rebel Raider: Operation Nighthawk is my favourite flight game right above the first Wing Commander game.

Rebel Raiders: Operation Nighthawk

This is an arcade futuristic jet warfare game for the PS2. The controls are simple and the game is extremely easy. I beat this game in a night and never played it again, there is no replay value. It is suitable for little kids or older folks who might not play many games. If you know the Ace Combat series and you like games like that, you will find this one a waste of time.

This game is too hard for a 10 year old, which must be why the rating was changed from 10+ to 12+. You get unlimited weapons, but one of the planes is almost impossible to shoot down. It should probably be rated Teen.

I loved the original Mario back in the day but this one bites. From Mario's slippery feet (can't manage to land on anything without skidding) to the idiotic save system (only after castles) to the Nintendo customer service informing me it was designed to be difficult. Why in the hell are you making a game for kids too difficult for an adult to play? I could literally write an article about how mind numbingly frustrating this game is too play. Makes me wanna ask for a refund (and I got it for free with the Wii).

This game is more frustrating than fun. Having the ability to save the stupid game would be nice. Instead, you do one board over, and over, and over, and over only to finally make it. Then you die on the next board and go back to the beginning of the world.

Let me say first off, I had never been a fan of side scrolling games in the 80's and 90's because in most cases, when you die, you go back to the beginning. For a casual gamer like myself, that means grind, grind, grind. But I figured that the save game limitation had more to do with the game consoles of the day rather than a game feature. Boy, was I wrong. This game has all the great features that Wii brings to casual gaming with the glaring fault of platforms of level grinds.

The game looks great and the controls are easy to use and the first few times through a level can be fun, but once you do it 5, 6, 7 times and then eventually die and have to go back to the beginning, it's looses it's fun. Now I just want to get through the lower levels to get back to where I was. No fun. No fun at all.

Nintendo could have added checkpoints at each level so that once you complete it, you move on. Even a ranking system like Mario Kart has so that you can move on and the go back and improve your score would have been better that how the game is managed.

(That's right COD fanboys.  Mario is hardcore.  ^^)

I purchased this game because I'd played the original Jade Cocoon and liked it. I'd already read reviews about Jade Cocoon 2, so I knew it wouldn't be like the original. Still, I never expected it to be so bad. I wasn't even able to finish the game. I even picked it up again (after awhile of inactivity) to try to force myself to finish it, but I couldn't. I really did consider finishing it to see if it got any better, but after reading numerous reviews/faqs/wikipedia, I realized that it wasn't going to get better. So, rather than trudge through the rest of this abysmal game, I decided that I'd better quit before I wasted any more of my life. I don't normally write reviews for games I haven't finished, but I really feel like I need to share my opinion on this one so I can inform others of what they might be getting into if they buy this game. It's really not any one thing alone that makes this game unbearable; it's a combination of several things that bogs it down. Well, let's take a look...

Graphics (score 7/10): The graphics themselves are technically decent, but not really too impressive.

Music (score 4/10): Ouch. Music is incredibly bland and generic. I almost didn't notice that there was music. The voice actors try their best to invigorate the terrible dialogue, but many fail. Furthermore, some voices chosen for characters were incredibly irritating--especially the voice of that guy who stores items for you.

Characters (score 4/10): Remember how I mentioned the crummy dialogue earlier? Well, this really ruins the characters. Dialogue is VERY repetitive (a lot like the rest of this game). Kahu repeats every statement made to him back in the form of a question. "Kahu, you need to get the forest orbs." --"So, I need to get the forest orbs?" Urg! This sort of exchange happens constantly. Kahu seems to be amazingly stupid. While other characters are amusing in a small way (like Yamu) it doesn't save this section from a poor score since most everyone is either gratuitously stupid or simply poorly developed.

Story (score 2/10): Talk about non-existent. What little story that exists is incredibly trite. Kahu wants to become a beast hunter but then he gets cursed for touching a fairy cocoon. Now he must collect 4 forest orbs to lift the curse. There are several subplots along the way, but none of them are particularly interesting. The story really suffers from the pace of it (slow) and the way it's told. The bits of story are revealed by talking to people in the dungeons. Sometimes there is a scene (mostly monologues by the fairy Nico), but mostly it consists of simply exchanging a conversation. There wouldn't be anything wrong with this if it were paced better. But the game drags on and on forever, with a lot of level grinding. This really slows the story to a snail's pace and makes you forget why you are even playing this game. With all this you'd think the gameplay made up for it, right? Well, let's see.

Battle System (score 5/10): This part's not so bad, but it does have its irritating bits. Selecting attacks is turn-based, and battle involves having several monsters arranged on a wheel surrounding Kahu. They can only carry one move for each element, and then can only use the move of the element that they are placed on in the wheel. Furthermore, you can't choose which enemy the monster attacks--it's random. Plus, monsters can only use their moves that take up MP; they only use normal attacks once their MP runs out. That makes for a frustrating experience. Otherwise, I would've been fine with the battle system.

Gameplay (score 1/10): Repetitive is the word of the day. There is only one "town" (and it's dull). Dungeons are long and boring, and each one looks just like the others, only a different color. There was just no variety--and in a game that's basically a dungeon-crawler, this is bad. To make matters worse, the monster raising system is very unrewarding. When you merge a monster, the appearance doesn't even change (unlike the original Jade Cocoon). Further, monsters stop leveling up at level 20, forcing you to merge them, which resets their levels to 1. This really ruins any sense of accomplishment you had, because monsters revert to their weak-looking baby forms. It really sucks the fun out of the game.

Overall (score 2/10): NOTE this score is not an average; it's my subjective overall score. Sigh, the first couple hours of this game are really fun-- before you get sick of it, that is. I wasn't able to force myself to finish this game, and I don't see why I should have to. A game is supposed to be for fun, not something I should force myself to do. I just don't think I could recommend this game to anyone--except maybe the most diehard of dungeon-crawling fans.

I beat Jade Cocoon2 while I was pregnant. My daughter is now 6. I still put it on and work on my ultimate team sometimes. Still trying to get a Chrome monster hatching. *fingers crossed* From her comments about the battle system, I'm pretty sure this person just never really figured out how to play the game. It's actually not much of a dungeon crawler at all but kindof a cross between Pokemon and Dragon Seeds. I also < 3 the complaints about a game SHE CALLS a dungeon crawler being grind happy. Dungeon crawlers grind happy? The devil you say!!11!!

Regarding complaint about New Super Mario Bros. (Wii) save feature, I have noticed that people today do not like save points and passwords.

Doom for the SNES.

One of the worst PC to console adaptations ever made.

I will list the flaws that this abomination contains.

1) Grainy and choppy graphics.

2) Seriously plauged by slow-down, the SNES graphics engine can hardly keep up with a big game like Doom. Console systems weren't desinged to have high memory PC games played on them.

3) Downroght Pi$$ Poor controls. You NEED a mouse to play this game, a D-Pad just will not cut it.

4) Not even the whole game.

5) Sound is uttley horrendus.

6) No Main Menu, just puts you right into thew game as you turn it on. Yep, thats right kids, no control or difficulty settings.

7) This must be (permanatly) set on the "Please Don't Hurt Me!" difficulty setting because it is just way to easy.

8) Why are you even trying to play this game on a Super Nintendo?

9) No recoil when you fire Rockets, like in the PC version.

10) Just avoid this version of the game.

11) Since it's Nintendo, it's also heavily censored. You need the blood and satanic refrences in this game to fully enjoy it.

12) No save feature, not even a password system. This means you have to beat the thing in one sitting.

...Doom for the SNES probably actually deserves the 1-star rating. :P The only cool thing I immediately recall is the music; it's....surprisingly awesome, actually, especially when compared to other ports, like the 32X, or the...Jaguar, which has NO music.

That is why I chose it! I only like the cool red cartridge though.