Batman: Tell me Clark, which one of us is the world's greatest detective again?
Superman: It's called investigative journalism, Bruce.

My life's motto

                            "Expect the worse you'll be happy when it turns out better." ~Alex V. aka DLPIV

"If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host."

-Veronica Sawyer from the movie Heathers (1989)

~cough~

"There is no reset button" - CotGW 

~cough~

Now before I put this next quote down, let it be known that I'm not one who buys into all this life coach crap. (no offense to anyone who is or uses a life coach it's just not for me.) 

However. That doesn't mean they don't say something good every now and then. This one has been one of my favourite quotes for years.

"Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking, but a full-on metamorphosis." - Martha Beck

Interesting I was thinking of starting a thread of quotes too but haven't got around to going throught my backups looking for them, so here is the latest one I found.

"Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems." ~Linus Torvalds
 
"True for Windows only but at least you don't need to be a tech person to get it working." ~The Male White Mage

Went through some of my backup and now have a few, hopefully that this is the only time I need to double post.

"The reset button is right here, see." ~Roo

"Screw the rules I have money."~ Littlekuriboh as Seto Kaiba 

"Grifting is the aristocracy of crime, It's an artform. Legging it is not an option."

Albert Stroller (From BBC's Hustle) explaining why con men don't take the convincer money and run.

The whole concept of celebrity pisses me off. While I'm not a celebrity, it's such a weird concept that society has cooked up for us. Astronauts and teachers are much more amazing than actors. ~Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Actors didn't use to be celebrities. A hundred years ago, they put the theaters next to the brothels. Actors were poor. Celebrities used to be kings and queens. Then the United States abolished monarchy, and now there's this coming together of show business and celebrity. I don't think it's healthy. I don't want to sound self-important, but all these celebrity shows and magazines - it comes from us, from Hollywood, from our country. We're the ones creating it. And I think it works in close step with a lot of other bad things that are happening in the world. It promotes greed, it promotes being selfish and it promotes this ladder, where you're a better person if you have more money. It's not at all about the work itself. Don't get me wrong. I love movies. But this myth of celebrity has nothing to do with movies. ~Joseph Gordon-Levitt

"CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!" ~ little kuriboh

"DOS addresses only 1 Megabyte of RAM because we cannot imagine any applications needing more." ~Microsoft on the development of DOS.

"Windows NT addresses 2 Gigabytes of RAM which is more than any application will ever need". ~Microsoft on the development of Windows NT

"Nothing in this world worth having comes easy" Dr. Kelso (Scrubs)

"He who controls the Spice, controls the universe!"  Baron Harkonnen, Dune.

"It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets." ~François-Marie Arouet - "Voltaire"

George Carlin on the meaning of life:

"I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade."

Monty Python on the meaning of life:

"It's all very well to laugh at the military, but when one considers the meaning of life, it is a struggle between alternative viewpoints of life itself. And without the ability to defend one's own viewpoint against other perhaps more aggressive ideologies, then reasonableness and moderation could, quite simply, disappear! That is why we'll always need an army, and may God strike me down were it to be otherwise."

4Chan on the meaning of life:

Ben Weldon replies: "The next post is a tentacle rape gif."

The narwhal bacons at midnight.

Quotes, eh? I love quotes! They're...so quotable!

"A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it's a tool, like a butcher's knife, or a harpoon, or....an alligator..."

         -Homer Simpson

There is talk of a magical stick that can burn with great balls of fire. - Neutopia, Turbografx 16

"Here is the map. All the info is there, except for the info that isn't there." -Onett Librarian, Earthbound

"Quotes, eh? I love quotes! They're...so quotable!" - ShirowWolf

....Thanks, Aestolia? ;P

"Authorities say the phoney pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth."

            -Kent Brockman; The Simpsons

I'm nobody's puppet. ~Dominar Rygel XVI

"You spoony bard!" -The sage Tella

All right, a FarScape quote! ;D

"I Don't Care What You are Doing, So Much as the Idiotic Way You are Doing it."

              -Vincent Valentine; Final Fantasy VII

I have a couple of more.

Bill Gates can't guarantee Windows. How can you guarantee my safety? ~John Crichton

Ha! A good one! >D

"Nothing is Ever Simple, is it?"

      Commander Sheperd; Mass Effect

"Here I am! The Grim Reaper's pen pal! The ultimate Macho Man!" - Zed, Wild ARMs

Classic. xD

"I Don't Think I Get it, But I Got it."

       Lloyd Irving; Tales of Symphonia

"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!" - Dracula

"It's time to Duel!" - Yu-gi-oh

I never run away. I... strategically maneuver. ~Rygel

"I just don't like organic meatbags.....except the Master, of course, heh heh heh..."

             -HK-47; Knights of the Old Republic

"Why do giant monsters eat people? Human beings are mostly water. Their tissue and fluids retain flavors and other residues from their foods. Their bones have a brittle quality. Their skin is warm and pliant. Thirst-quenching, well-seasoned, crunchy and yet chewy; people are the Elvis of snack foods." - Nextwave! Agents of H.A.T.E.

"DEATH TO FLESHY ONES!" Aaron Stack, Nextwave!

That entire series is full of meme-worthy quotes lol

The Rhys-Kieran support from Path of Radiance has a few gems

Their B Support is especially hilarious:

Rhys:  Ah, Kieran.  There you are.
Kieran:  Oh, hello, Rhys!  What brings you here?
Rhys:  May I watch you train?  I figured someone with a heal staff should be
around, just in case an accident happens.
Kieran:  Ha ha ha!  Aren't you a worrywart!  But being watched is good!  Now I
can take my training to the next level!  All right!  Watch this!
Rhys:  Oh, er...  I'm just here to see that you don't get hurt...  Oh, do be
careful...  No!  Don't juggle the lance, too!
Kieran:  Behold the awesome power of Crimean Royal Knight Fifth Platoon Captain
Kieran!  Now I call this little trick--  Nnngg...!  Gaaaaa!  Whaaaaaaaa!
...Ah, nuts.
Rhys:  Oh, dear heavens!  Oh, this is terrible.  Stay right there!  Let me take
care of you...
Kieran:  Ho, I'm fine!  Don't worry about old Kieran!  I just need to pull this
axe out of my head here...  Whooo, that's sharp!
 

"...And the elephant who couldn't stop laughing was put to death."

             Kent Brockman; The Simpsons

Imagine, somewhere out there there's a whole world full of Crichtons. How useless that must be. ~Aeryn Sun

"If you argue the right way, you're never wrong."

            -Nick Naylor; Thank You For Smoking

"Wait a minute, are you saying you'd make out with his mom if she was a potato?? Because that doesn't really make sense..."

                -Meelord Marone; Space Tree the Space Tree

"IT'S A TRAP!" ~Admiral Ackbar

"My name is Millions, and I'm a son of a Chipwich!"

        -Homsar; Strong Bad Email #188

This is a hotel?

-Patrick Star.

"NO! This Is Patrick! "

  - Patrick Star 

Dr. Forrester: "Frank....I'm going to start slapping you, and I may never stop."

TV's Frank: "Let the healing begin."

           -from Mystery Science Theater 3000 (The Beast of Yucca Flats)

"This is his dry cleaning bill. Four sweater vests." From Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

"Even on 50% off days, we don't serve humans in our dishes."

                                                                                                                                           Simon - ep06 Durarara!!

"Son Gohan...It is no sin to fight for what is right. There are enemies with which you cannot talk things out."

         #16, Dragon Ball Z

"Giggidy Giggidy Goo!"

-Glenn Quagmire, Family Guy

"Live for nothing, or die for something. Your call."

                -John Rambo; Rambo

It's difficult to produce a television documentary that's both incisive and probing when every 12 minutes you're interrupted by dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. ~Rod Serling

 Cubert: "What's the matter, never seen a genius's wiener before?"

Fry: "Once, in the park.."

            from Futurama

We all play the same RPG, only the stakes are higher and the odds are almost against us for most of the time. We don't roll our own dice, so we don't really know where and when we will get a D20. But no matter what the odds are, we still play it through, and hoping to finish on a good note.

- from myself, Homer Ruglia Beoulve(which is my game name since 2005)