When is the right time for the first time to see Star Wars?
June 4th, 2010 | 
Commodore128
Commodore128
I'm going to admit to something to you all that might shock and surprise you. Something I'm not very proud of. Something many of you will find horribly disturbing... The first time that I saw the Star Wars Trilogy was in the 7th grade. Shocking I know. How did one so geeky as the Commodore make it so long without watching the pinnacle of geek cinema? Honestly, I have no idea. While I had a wonderful youth, this glaring problem with my upbringing is something that haunts me to this very day.
Why bring this up you might ask? Well I admit my late-to-the-party Star Wars geekery because recently all of us at CotGW have been having a very interesting discussion cenetered around a very important question for any geek that plans on having children someday and that is: When is the first time you show your kids Star Wars? Follow me after the break and we'll go through this together. I even have a chart for your convenience.
I realize some of you out there will have John Williams blasting through the headphones surrounding your new child in the womb rather than the works of Mozart, but how early is too early for Star Wars? Full disclaimer folks, I'm no child psychologist. Other than readily being able to identify children as smaller versions of adults, I'm pretty useless in a discussion of child identification issues. That being said, because this (like most crappy blogs on the internet) does not let the lack of expert knowledge prevent me from spuing my opinion in every direction, I'm gonna take a stab at figuring this thing out. Here goes...
Alright, so assuming your spouse is a SW fan (cause honestly, who in the hell would marry somebody that didn't like SW???) you at least have to take comfort in that you will have tremendous support for the crucial decision of baby's first Dath Star Run. Let's discuss the pluses and miunses here...
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AGE
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PROS
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CONS
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VERDICT
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Still in the womb (NOTE: this is why we should watch SW regularly, just in case a baby has come about that you don't know of yet)
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The child will not interrupt the viewing experience. No need for snack breaks. This is the SW by osmosis method.
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The child cannot actually see the film... hell the child probably doesn't even have eyes yet. But I feel quite confident that the sheer awesome of Star Wars is enough to penetrate even the thickest of utirin walls.
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Can't hurt. Wost case scenario, the child comes out trying to be C-3PO rather than Han Solo. And even this can be fixed through therapy and increased SW viewing later in life.
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<1 Year
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At this point you can verify that the child does indeed have eyes and can see. Combine this with the fact that most of the first year of the child's life will be spent on their back, it is clear that this is the best age to implement forced SW viewings.
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Since the child really hasn't developed much of a sense of self or reality yet, the chance of them being able to link “old ben” and Obi-Wan Kenobi together as being the same person is scant at best.
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Exercize caution here geeks. While mandatory SW viewings are part of any good parent's strategy, it would be wise to avoid a scenario in which the child might wrongfully identify itself with Yoda due to size similarities. Perhaps limit the child to 1 viewing per day or even once per week if they begin to vocalize grunts that sound like a constipated Ms. Piggy.
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2 – 3 Years
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The child gains the ability to discern complex narrative structures. Clearly this is necessary to understanding the tremendously crucial scenes that George Lucas graciously put into the special editions of the films. Having gained at least some ambulatory acuity, the child can run around the room emulating a flying X-wing for the first time.
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Child might destroy property flying said imaginary X-wing. Child may be unintentionally scared of Chewbacca. Any shaggy carpets or animals could inadvertently become the source of uncontrollable fear for the child.
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Showing the movie to the children at this age will undoubtedly have major effects on their psychological development. It's best to therefore maintain a healthy regimen of SW to ensure proper development. If the child asks you (with their hilariously limited vocabulary) who shot first, skillfully avoid the question by performing an impromptu dance to the Bith Shuffle.
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2 – 10 Years
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The child identifies most readily with Luke Skywalker. This makes them kind of a wuss, but is appropriate considering their age. The child now actually wants to dress up as your favorite SW character for Halloween.
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As a parent you get to see George Lucas take all the money out of your wallet again as you are forced to buy thousands of SW action figures and toys.
For male children, this is the age at which they may observe a connection between a certain part of their anatomy and the hilt of a lightsaber, leading to them try to cut down the shaggy family dog with said weapon. While this is hilarious, continuation of this activity should be strongly discouraged.
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Clearly this seems to be the favorite age for the initial SW viewings. This age is when watching SW more than 300 times a year is just not enough. I say, get them toy lightsabers, turn on the films and watch the hilarity ensue. you're just showing them your love, with the force.
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10 – 15 years
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Child most readily identifies with Han Solo. They don't really want to rebel yet, they're just fun-seekers that like to take risks. With some strict monetary allowance rules, the child can be taught about the value of a dollar by inviting them to begin purchasing their own SW merchandise. They will see what it feels like for the first time to have George Lucas take all of their money... even if the money is really yours.
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Alas, the hormones are now pumping. This is the first time the male child will see Leia in the metal bikini and find it uncomfortable to walk. The female child will see this same scene and for the first time realize that if she wears a metal bikini, all the Han Solos of the world will do whatever she wants them to.
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By this time, if they haven't seen them, the films will be pure magic for the child. You will share their joy as they watch SW for the first time. You will also become very uncomfortable during the Princess Leia metal bikini scene.
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15 – 20 years
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The child will be incomprehensibly inquisitive about the films and their nature.
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Unfortunately this leads to questions about the corrupting power of the dark side of the force, the technoloicaly nuances of this fantasy universe, and the hegemonic tendencies of the Empire. As a parent, your duty is simply to point to the screen and explain that there are pretty lasers and explosions!
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If they haven't seen the films before now, you have failed as a parent and you will be forced to turn in you geek license.Try to laugh through the tears when you realize your child more closely identifies with Twilight than Star Wars.
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So there you have it folks! I think I've shown that it really is NEVER too early for Star Wars. Just be careful to augment the Star Wars with a bit of Back to the Future, maybe some Lord of the Rings, and naturally ANY Jim Henson movie. What do you all think? When are you going to show your kids Star Wars for the first time???
Hmm...I wonder what inspired this post...
(Right now, the clan doing a Star Wars movie a week on Saturdays with my kids, who are both single-digit ages)
I asked them what their favorite part was. They liked the part with the "Laser Swords"...I'm trying to figure out how they learned the word LASER...
Probably the same way I learned the words exoskelington and Bioweapon. To be honest I still don't know when or where I learned them, but it was probably sometiome during my parents weekly, Star Trek episodes they watched when I was a kid.
Doesn't Obi-Wan refer to the Lightsabre as a "Laser Sword" when he shows Luke Anakin's sabre the first time?
Iknow somewhere in the films it is referred to as a laser sword at least once.
Does it count if my 7-year-old daughter regularly watches the Clone Wars cartoon and has played through Lego Star Wars 1 and 2 with me?
I remember I used to hate SW when I was around 10... when they get re-released I said fuck it and decided to watch em... the rest is just good memories and lots of expanded universe stories :P
I'm sure everyone in the world has already seen this video. But whatever. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBM854BTGL0